Not sure that got through

Kyra saying prayers

We had a family home evening a few weeks ago about the importance of including things we are grateful for in our prayers. We challenged the kids to say things they're thankful for before they ask for things.

We've go the thank thee at the beginning of the prayer down, but I'm not sure they are really thankful for what they put behind it...

Thank thee that Amy needs to close her eyes.
Thank thee that this sandwich will taste good.
Thank thee that we can go to the park today.


Yeah, we still need some work.

Talented

Crying erupted from the hallway and Ian came running to me bawling. Kyra pushed him (after he had been picking on her for 5 minutes) and he fell on top of his remote control car breaking it beyond repair.

All the other kids came to investigate and discovered Ian in tears over his broken toy. When all their "solutions" to fix it wouldn't work, they did the next best thing...stole his thunder.

Within seconds all of them were lamenting treasured toys of long ago. Broken dolls, balls, lost papers. You name it; we cried about it. Five kids crying, uncontrollably. I tried to be empathetic, but when no one was looking I snickered, a lot.

Eric was the most emotional. He cried and cried over the transformer ball that he accidentally aired up so much it popped. Apparently he "wanted to keep it as a memory," but his super-mean dad made him throw it away.


P.S. As I tucked Eric in bed tonight he told me a secret. "Hey Mom, did you know I got a new talent today. I can cry whenever I want." Let me tell you, he is very, very talented.

I could take her...

While watching Nature on Sunday night:

On the screen: a brown bear confiscates the kill made by a pack of wolves
Announcer: "The wolves won't fight this 600 lbs bear..."

Ian: Mom, you are way bigger than that bear.

Awesome.

The power of hair

I hereby do solemnly swear to never make Tara cut her hair again. I had no idea her hair had the same type of power as Samson of old. Really, I didn't.

If I knew that Tara would be struck with a case of the flu (that she would then pass on to 3 of her 4 siblings), I would have let her keep her hair long.

If I knew she would end up with a case of lice while still hacking up her lungs because of the flu, I would have let her keep her hair long.

If I knew that I would be washing/disinfecting every article of clothing, piece of bedding and hairbow we own while dealing with 4 children who have the flu, I would have let her keep her hair long.

Therefore, I will never make an ultimatum to my daughter about the length of her hair because I would rather deal with tangles, snarls, and attitude.

Some things never change

Bowling is fun. I always have a good time when I go, but I'm always the worst player, always.

We took the family bowling Friday night (changing up the whole family movie night with family bowling night). I thought for sure when pitted against an 8 yr old, a 6 yr old, a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old I would smoke them.

Nope.

Scores:

Me: 64 (I'm proud of that so stop laughing...I've bowled 34 before so this is an improvement)
Tara: 68
Eric: 77
Ian/Amy: 84
Jared: too good to show his score

Next time I'm bowling on the bumper guard lane. Maybe then I'll beat Tara or if I allow myself to dream big...Ian and Amy.

Best quote of the night goes to Tara who said, "this is so much easier on the Wii."

Daddy Parenting Solutions

I was feeling a bit under the weather so Jared took the kids with him to buy a new pair of hiking boots and run a few other errands.

Let me give you just a minute for that to sink in.

I won't even go shoe shopping with that many kids. It is a royal circus trying on shoes and chasing 5 kids going in 5 different directions. I didn't mention that to Jared as he walked out the door because even sick, I'm no dummy.

The report given of their adventure together was the best medicine I could have gotten.

The kids did indeed run in many different directions. They also needed to use the bathroom, so Jared sent Tara (oh the differences between moms and dads) to help Amy go to the bathroom.

AMY!

Amy who is only 2 and was wearing a PULL-UP!

Anyway as Tara tells it she tried to get Amy on the toilet, unsuccessfully, and Amy peed all over her pull-up. Which Amy then refused to put back on. Tara tried her 8 yr old best to fix the situation, but finally in frustration left Amy naked from the waist down playing in the sink water while Tara consulted her dad for help. His suggestion, "Just tell her to put her pants on and let's go."

So THAT is why she came home with no panties.

I told Tara I was proud of her for helping Amy and Daddy. She said, "yeah but it was really embarrassing especially when the grown ups kept staring at us."

Fightin' Words

"Amy you're still a baby. Just a baby who talks." said Ian. He might as well made a your mama joke because that was definitely an insult.

As they wrestled to determine who gets top dog honors, I reflected on that statement. He's right. And I just realized that I've had two babies (with one baby who talks) for the last 6.5 years.

Fun Sucker

I loaded Tara and her 3 best friends into my van and headed out to celebrate her 8th birthday. That sentence doesn't do justice to the amount of work it took to get my other four kids dropped off at two separate babysitters and car seats removed from my van in order to have enough seats for Tara and her friends. I was excited because birthdays are special and it's always fun to listen to the girls talk about life. Except today...

"Hey guys, sorry my mom had to take us instead of my dad," said Tara. "It's ok," replied my only ally, Lauren. "Yeah your mom is kinda a fun sucker," explained Emily. "Hey, I'm taking you to get ice cream and paint pottery. What do you mean I'm a fun sucker?" I ask with my irritation mildly in check. "You know, you suck all the fun out," clarified my darling daughter. "And Dad doesn't?" I question. "No way. He is, like way funner," said Tara. And then before I could stop myself I corrected her. "You mean more fun."

Dang!

The title has stuck. In fact, the kids called me fun sucker again today when I took away their milk because they thought it was a good idea to spit milk at each other while standing on my newly mopped floor. Yep, I am a fun sucker. Jared tried to get them to call him one too because that's his goal in life--to make the kid's lives miserable, but they refused because they think he is cool.

Back to School

new pencils (I found tons of dentist office freebies around the house) - $0.00

new lunch boxes (the old ones still work) - $0.00

new backpacks (Target will put those on clearance in a week anyway) - $0.00

Learning how cheap you really are - Priceless

Frugal vs. Cheap

I think I just crossed the line, the line between frugal and cheap.

We don't do allowances. Ok, that is an understatement. To be honest, my children's monetary increase usually occurs when they find a penny in the parking lot of Target.

Tara has been asking to earn money for chores lately, so I've been looking for things she can do that deserve payment...because making your bed doesn't count. Today I made my kids clean out their rooms. You know, throw out treasured pieces of scratch paper and toys with half the pieces missing. It was traumatic.

As a reward for finishing this task the kids wanted to go toy shopping. Eric wanted to buy a GI JOE and Tara wanted a BEANIE BABY. I agreed as long as they used their own money. That's when it hit me. I could totally make this work. I remembered the '$2 off any GI JOE' coupon I had just received in the mail and the $5 Walgreen's rapid reward coupon in my purse. It was like hearing a choir of angels singing.

I simply paid my kids in coupons.

Day late and a dollar short

I can always tell when I am tired or overworked when I start misplacing my keys. I haven't lost them all week and so I figured I was good, but apparently some things sneak up on you.

I went to the grocery store tonight specifically to buy the Blue Bell ice cream which was on sale for $3.88 per 1/2 gallon. I was a little frustrated when it rang up wrong so I went to talk to the manager. I asked why the ad price wasn't reflected on my receipt. She pulled out the ad and flipped through but it wasn't there. That was when I kindly pointed out that she was looking at tomorrows ad. She looked at me strange. I clarified. "You know the ads change on Wednesday morning and you are looking at the ad for Wednesday instead of Tuesday nights," I explained. "Hon, it is Wednesday," she offered gently. What could I say to that? I came up with, "Oh."

I am so off my game I don't even know what day it is.

TNB revisited

Do you remember my last visit with Teenage Neighbor Boy (TNB)? He and I had another fun visit yesterday.

The kids and I had just gotten home from an afternoon of swimming and I was letting them play in the front while I emptied out the van. I hear an engine rev and yell to the kids to stay out of the road. I live on a double cul-de-sac street, so the only traffic we get is people who 1. live on the street or 2. are lost. Either way you don't see lots of people going very fast.

This car was booking it. Going at least 50mph. I yell at the car to slow down. It hits the cul-de-sac and flips around and tears back down the street. Sheesh. Then about 15 seconds later it is flying back down the street. I yell again for them to watch out. I know they can see the kids outside playing. Then I get a wave from the car. A friendly 'hey how ya doing' wave. Can't they tell I'm perturbed?

30 seconds later TNB is dropped off by his girlfriend, and decides to walk down to visit me.

It is never fun for me to lecture/confront someone, but I felt the need.

Me: TNB, you were going way too fast. Didn't you see my kids outside playing?
TNB: Yeah, that car really moves, huh. But I didn't punch the gas until I was (motioning to a spot .5inches past my driveway) past your drive way.
Me: TNB, you forget that kids don't know how to judge distance and speed. You could kill one of my kids, and I promise you that would ruin your life and mine.
TNG: Yeah, I'd probably go to jail if I hit one of your kids. I'll just speed on that street. (pointing to an adjoining street)

Then I got to listen to a 20 minute run down of all the places he has raced his car and how fast it has gone. I stood there wondering if I was this self absorbed and irresponsible as a teenager?

(Relatives of mine who read this post, please don't answer that question. There are some people around here that I still have fooled)

Can I have that in writing?

Hey Jared, remember when we first got the swing set? We set it up in the middle of the night using flashlights. The kids loved it immediately. Then Saturday morning came and you had to mow around it for the first time. You came in the house sweaty and complaining about what a pain it was to mow around. I remember saying something sweet to you, "Man up, hon. It's just a swing set."

I mowed the back yard yesterday (an unfortunate consequence of MBA homework overload). And I'm going to put this in writing and then go eat some humble pie probably with a cherry on top.

You're right.

It is a pain to mow around the swing set.

Extracurricular activity

I heard a knock on the front door again and wondered what the kids needed this time. I'd already doled out popsicles, bandaids, and instructions on how to share. I opened the door to see the biggest kid on the street. Teenage Neighbor Boy (TNB) smiled and politely asked if I could do him a favor. I can't say no to anything, but I was a little concerned about what he might want. Since school hasn't started yet, I knew he wasn't soliciting for magazine subscriptions to earn money to go on a school choir trip. And just between you and me, I don't think school sponsored clubs are his type of extracurricular activity... (Can you picture me pretending to smoke a joint?)

Me: Well, what do you need?

TNB: I was wondering if you could take me to my girlfriend's house.

Me: Uhmm...

TNB: I got grounded from my truck so I need a ride.

Me: Well, I don't have enough seats in my car to take you anywhere. I'm sorry. (I'm using the I'm a responsible adult voice now.)

TNB: I know you have a van; you've got plenty of seats. (Oh really, we're gonna get an attitude?)

Me: Actually I have 7 seats and since I have 5 kids and I'm babysitting an extra 3 kids, I'm out of room. Sorry, I can't take you. (I've turned on the annoyed mom voice by this point)

I got a glazed look and the following response.

TNB: But I have to go to work at 4pm.

I guess I lost him at 7-(5+3+2)=-3.

And that my friends is why my kids will be in school sponsored extracurricular activities like Math Club. And why they won't be having a boy/girlfriend until they've left home, right? I'd be mortified if one of my neighbors was solicited to help my child meet up with their booty call.

Argue? We never argue...

We had a discussion tonight. The kind that moves out of the kitchen and into the bedroom and then the door closes, but everyone can still hear what the discussion is about. Yeah, that kind.

After everything cooled down and I regained my composure, the fits of laughter came.

You know why?

Because I had just spent an hour of my life arguing with my husband about whether we should be using cash based accounting (because it is easier...my argument) or accrual based accounting (because it is more accurate...his argument).

I just realized that I'm even more of a dork than I originally thought. On the up side, I remember a little bit from my college education.



Please, I'm begging you not to show Jared this article. I'll never hear the end of it.

Whew...

Big week last week...

Do you have a friend that just gets you? You can be grouchy and goofy and totally yourself? If you don't, you should get one. Stephanie is mine. She's had a big week. Last Tuesday she found out that she had a tumor in her colon. Wednesday she learned it was cancerous. Thursday it hadn't reached the liver or lungs, and Friday had it removed. Then 4 days in the hospital and now recovering at home.

It is excruciating for me to watch and only be able to offer food, babysitting, company, and an occasional poorly timed joke (I'll probably never be good at jokes...) I really just wanted to make it all go away.

Then in the middle of all of that Eric broke his arm and required surgery. It was another whirl wind of doctors and hospitals. I'll post on that next.

I'm thankful that I still get to talk daily to my dear friend and that my baby boy is fixed. Most importantly I am thankful that my Heavenly Father gently guided me through the past 10 days...

Now, onward and upward.

School's out for Summer

Yesterday was the first day of no school. Yeah! Guess what? We made it until 9:30am before Tara declared, "I'm bored. There's nothing to do; summer is boring." I looked around at the mound of dishes I was still working on from breakfast and realized it might be a long summer.

This morning I had a plan. All the kids were up and pulling weeds in the front yard before 8am. Today they promised they weren't bored anymore. Eric also informed me that, "We are the only kids in our whole neighborhood who have to do chores."

At least they aren't bored.

$4.56

With my kitchen table littered with bread, produce, and cans of vegetables, I began inventorying my grocery shopping purchases so I could put it all away. (Not a small task when you consider food storage rotation, and 3 pairs of little "helping" hands.) I felt frustrated when I couldn't find the spaghetti sauce, put-out when the corn was missing, and, I'm embarrassed to admit it, hot tempered when the cream of mushroom soup was gone too. I was missing one whole bag of food. (6 cans worth $4.56 to be exact)

And I couldn't let it go. I just couldn't let it go.

So, I headed back to the store this time with all five kids in tow and right after school no less to inform the manager that I had been shorted and needed this situation corrected. It's hard for kids to go grocery shopping once a day, but twice is a real killer. So, my grocery trip to re-pick-up 6 cans involved a stop at the bakery to beg for cookies and watch a cake get frosted, a look at the lobsters and the fish with their eyes still in, and of course the multiple mini-conversations I have with other grocery store patrons about my ability to fit five kids on/in a grocery cart. Heaven help me. I just spent 45 minutes at the grocery store!

So after causing myself at least $10.00 worth of pain and suffering, I got the 6 cans and five kids loaded into the car and back home.

I started putting stuff away again and turns out I found the "missing" cans. Some "helping" hands (I'm thinking Amy) shoved them into random spot in my pantry. I just spent the better part of my afternoon stressing out over 6 cans that weren't really missing. Plus now I'm a thief, and I feel really guilty.

I called the store and had a conversation with the manager that went something like this, "Hi. I'm that crazy lady that came in saying I was missing a bag of groceries. Turns out I found them...in my pantry." That is when the snickers started. "I owe you $4.56. Do you want me to come in and pay it or just return the 6 cans?" All out laughter. Then the manager says, "I think you might have worn yourself out already. We'll call it even."

She was able to just let it go.

One of Life's Truths

Ian has a knack for explaining things. It's a talent really. Today he informed me of this little gem.

Girls cry. It's just what they do.

He's a quick study too (there were 3 girls at the house at the time and all of them were crying). I think it took his dad about 10 years to figure that one out.

Are they ALL yours?

I took all five of my kids to Kohl's to get Jared a specific white oxford shirt for Brent's wedding. It was on sale for $5 off the sale price today only, so my sanity is roughly worth $5.81. I normally have Jared go get his own shirt so the patrons of Kohl's can shop in peace without staring at me or asking/stating any of the following:

Are they ALL yours? Yep, but I might give you the one that is crying.
You have your hands full. And in my distracted state a child breaks free of my vice grip on their hand and makes a run for it.
You're busy aren't you?
Wow, five kids. Yes, wow.
You know what causes this right?

Today was no exception to the rule. I made small talk with a fellow shopper about my stair-stepped-kids. However, when the nice gentlemen mentioned that I needed a few more children, Tara responded for me.

"Oh, my mom isn't having any more kids because my sister flushed her wedding ring down the toilet."

Nothing better than discussing family planning and plumbing in the suit section of Kohl's.

PS. To be fair I probably should have been selling circus side show tickets to watch me shop. I had one of those 2 seater shopping baskets with Amy in the front seat, Kyra in the back, Eric straddling Kyra because she is still a wobbly sitter, Ian standing in the back and Tara walking next to me. I should expect stares with a setup like that.