May cause drowsiness

I rarely take painkillers. I have to be nearly convulsing in pain to swallow one. I took one today because the pain was that bad and now I remember why I don't use them. I was knocked out drooling for the better part of the day. In a pinch I could form 2 word sentences like, "Ask Tara," "Go Away," and "Make Toast."

When I regained consciousness I found:

* a box of cheese crackers dumped and crushed into the floor

* a pan of brownies consumed for lunch as well as a bag of popcorn and M&Ms.

* books, DVDs, paper, and strangely enough cinnamon sugar everywhere.

* Amy had "used the facilities" on the tile, carpet, and in her pants which are deposited somewhere in the house. I haven't found them yet.

* Tara had called a close friend and told her I took a horse pill (that would be the antibiotic I was prescribed) and a Loritab and was lying on the bed. I think that is when I started coming out of the fog.

My kids said it was awesome and that I could be sick anytime.



(I have a lot more sympathy for babies with ear infections. This thing is kicking my butt. Oh, but once my ear drum ruptured, I started feeling a lot better.)

Here's the Commercial

This is what happens when you can't say no.

Sometimes You Need More Than Underwear

After swimming at the pool all afternoon we were in bath mode. I had the big girls in one bath, the boys in the other, and I was sitting on the couch in my underwear checking email while waiting for my turn in the shower.

That's when the doorbell rang unexpectedly and I jumped my half naked self off the couch and peeked at the front door and saw a grown man standing at my door.

How do I move from my living room to my bed room without being seen?

I can't because I'd have to run in front of the front door with its big glass window and would be seen by the door bell ringer.

CRAP!

So I crouched on the floor of my living room until I heard the man leave. (wow, 90 seconds can be a REALLY long time!)

Uhm, Never

We were rushing out the door to go on vacation. That is my only excuse for my distraction. I was trying to give Kyra her medicine and clean the kitchen and get Amy dressed and calm down a tantruming Ian and you get the point.

I took the lid off the medicine, did something, and then shook it. Clearly that wasn't wise and my kitchen, myself, and my baby were wearing pink liquid sticky.

I called the pharmacy and they confirmed what I already knew. I needed more medicine, so I went to the pharmacy and waited for them to refill Kyra's prescription.

As I was making small talk with the pharmacist, I explained how the medicine was spilled. Then I asked, "So, how often does that happen?"

Silence.

"It really doesn't ma'am," replied the pharmacist without even a twinkle in his eye.

Oh.

new rings

I wasn't the only one who mourned the loss of my wedding ring. Ian often reminds me about it and tries to make me feel better by giving me "a new wedding ring" periodically.

Who needs a diamond when you can have these?

Eat your heart out ladies!

Mission Impossible: Accomplished, finally.

For a time there I thought it would never happen, but I finally completed my online defensive driving course.

If you have any of the following I suggest you avoid taking an online defensive driving class:

1. a laptop battery that lasts about 45 seconds
2. a 9mos old who pulls up on the laptop cord and unplugs it every 60 seconds
3. a 2yr old who insists on sitting on your lap despite the laptop that is already there
4. a 2yr old who hits the laptop keys & accidentally answers a test question, incorrectly
5. children arguing at a decibel level higher than the laptop's max volume
6. children crying at a decibel level higher than the laptop's max volume
7. children with weak stomachs watching the DWI video's blood and gore shots
8. you plan on spending less than 12 hours to finish your 6 hour course

$4.56

With my kitchen table littered with bread, produce, and cans of vegetables, I began inventorying my grocery shopping purchases so I could put it all away. (Not a small task when you consider food storage rotation, and 3 pairs of little "helping" hands.) I felt frustrated when I couldn't find the spaghetti sauce, put-out when the corn was missing, and, I'm embarrassed to admit it, hot tempered when the cream of mushroom soup was gone too. I was missing one whole bag of food. (6 cans worth $4.56 to be exact)

And I couldn't let it go. I just couldn't let it go.

So, I headed back to the store this time with all five kids in tow and right after school no less to inform the manager that I had been shorted and needed this situation corrected. It's hard for kids to go grocery shopping once a day, but twice is a real killer. So, my grocery trip to re-pick-up 6 cans involved a stop at the bakery to beg for cookies and watch a cake get frosted, a look at the lobsters and the fish with their eyes still in, and of course the multiple mini-conversations I have with other grocery store patrons about my ability to fit five kids on/in a grocery cart. Heaven help me. I just spent 45 minutes at the grocery store!

So after causing myself at least $10.00 worth of pain and suffering, I got the 6 cans and five kids loaded into the car and back home.

I started putting stuff away again and turns out I found the "missing" cans. Some "helping" hands (I'm thinking Amy) shoved them into random spot in my pantry. I just spent the better part of my afternoon stressing out over 6 cans that weren't really missing. Plus now I'm a thief, and I feel really guilty.

I called the store and had a conversation with the manager that went something like this, "Hi. I'm that crazy lady that came in saying I was missing a bag of groceries. Turns out I found them...in my pantry." That is when the snickers started. "I owe you $4.56. Do you want me to come in and pay it or just return the 6 cans?" All out laughter. Then the manager says, "I think you might have worn yourself out already. We'll call it even."

She was able to just let it go.

Just Say NO

As far as important life skills go, this one is right up there. I really need to learn how to do it because so far I can only say no to 3 things (my husband, my kids, and illegal substances).

So, if you are in need of a favor, no matter how out-there, call ME.

Here's proof that I can't say no. I recently had a phone conversation that went like this:

me: Hello.
person asking ludicrous favor: Laura, I need you to do something for me.
me: Sure.
person asking ludicrous favor: I need you to act in one of my commercials.
me: Um, I don't think I can do that.
person asking ludicrous favor: Sure you can.
me: No, I really don't think I can.
person asking ludicrous favor: I need you tomorrow at noon.
me: Oh...I can't I'm already watching so-and-so's kids.
person asking ludicrous favor: I've got that taken care of. My wife will come over and watch them.
me: Really? (mind reeling trying to find another excuse, but I don't think quickly on my feet)
person asking ludicrous favor: Yes. See you tomorrow at noon. Make sure you look pretty.
me: Okay.

So if you're up late and watching ESPN, you might catch a glimpse of me riding off into the sunset on a Honda Fury motorcycle (leather jacket, helmet and all).



fine print: I'm not sure about copyright details, but if it is okay to post a copy of the commercial here then you will get to see me acting which is a term I use very, very loosely.

Goal: ACCOMPLISHED

Six weeks ago I made a goal to run a 5k because I was in serious need of finding some me time. Turns out that 6am is my "me" time. I have really enjoyed running with my pals.

Yesterday, Danielle and I ran the Bloodgusher (great name for a race) Here's proof we did it.

before the race

coming down the home stretch

We even had enough gas left to sprint across the finish line

So, cross that bad boy off my list...

Only I wasn't pleased with my time of just under 34 minutes. We've done better on our morning runs. I'm signing up for another 5k on May 2nd (my next free weekend, sheesh) and I'm beating that time. Just watch.

Oh, quick side note...

Tara ran the 1k kids fun run and came in 5th! That funny girl told me, "I would have beat more kids, but I twisted my ankle."

Tara is in the aqua coat.

POST EDIT: The official race standings were posted today. I finished 10th and Danielle 11th in the 30 age group and 56th and 57th in the 5k overall.

Tag

I've been tagged by several people for the same thing, so I'm finally doing it.

4th picture in the 4th folder

We went to San Diego in 2006 for my brother's wedding (kid free). We visited the San Diego Zoo, which is way more fun with kids...

Here I am posing for the camera, nice.