What's a wedding without a meltdown?

Have you ever watched a basketball game and cheered for the underdog, even when you knew they would lose? Good, then we can continue...

Were you surprised when the 5 on 1 defense was scored on time and time again? Nope. Huh, me neither. I wonder why I was surprised each time I was scored on, then?

You see, when you take 5 small children to a formal event, you should have both parents playing defense because 5 on 2 might just defend the goal. 5 on 1 almost never will. But, Jared was in the wedding party so 5 on 1 it was.

By the way, don't the Shannon boys look handsome?

Here is a run down of the 2 minutes that convinced me that I am at the mercy of my children and should count my blessings every time we have a successful grocery trip, sacrament meeting, or park visit.

1:59 seconds remaining:
Kyra chokes on a piece of cantaloupe and I perform the baby Heimlich. (We do this like 7 times a day, so no biggie.)

1:49 seconds remaining:
A stranger taps me on the shoulder to inform me that my child (Amy) has just fallen out of their chair, landed on their head, and is lying on the floor crying (all of this without me noticing because I was busy saving the life of another child).

1:39 seconds remaining:
I carry both children outside and calm them both down. Jared sees me leave, comes and gets Kyra to deposit her with some unsuspecting relative.

0:59 seconds remaining:
I go back inside. Sit at the table and remove a butter knife from Ian who is using it as a sword.

0:55 seconds remaining:
I try and distract Amy with more fruit snacks.

0:51 seconds remaining:
I cringe as I watch Tara and Eric in another near miss. I think this is about the 17th time they have almost run into each other, the wedding cake, the DJ equipment, or another wedding guest.

0:15 seconds remaining:
I tell Ian to quit sticking his hands in the glasses of water/lemonade in order to retrieve pieces of ice because, "You'll spill it everywhere."

0:10 seconds remaining:
I suddenly feel very cold, wet, and sticky because Ian just spilled an entire glass of ice cold lemonade down my back.

0:02 seconds remaining:
Unsuspectingly relative walks up to a soaking-wet-and-still-rather-irritated me to inform me that Kyra has a snotty nose. At this point I'm seething inside and my internal dialogue sounds like this, "Who cares? Wipe it with her dress, a napkin, or the table cloth for crying out loud!"

BUZZER


I LOSE

And by lose I mean I took ALL the kids to the car, turned on Tom and Jerry, cried for 15 minutes, and called my friend Stephanie to inform her that I had been "eliminated from the competition". Amazing what a phone call can do, because I did regain my composure and danced/played the rest of the night with guests who don't spill lemonade. Because this finally happened...

I can handle 4 on 1 no problem. *wink*