Sometimes these blogs are full of only the fun and lively highlights of our lives. However, we all know that there are also those "other" times that we wish would never happen, but do. I had one last Sunday and just wanted to take a minute and say a BIG THANK YOU to Stephanie and Margaret for helping out.
I know I shouldn't let a six year old push my buttons, but sometimes Tara really can. Jared was off at some church meeting (I can't even remember what for) and I was home with the kids. I told Tara we needed to get her reading homework done. For some reason this really set Tara off. She didn't want to read her book. Then she couldn't read her book. Then I was a mean Mom for making her read her book. Then she thought I needed to do her reading homework instead of her. It doesn't sound so bad written like that, but it was. I think it was the decibel level loud enough to wake 2 sleeping siblings, the copious amounts of tears, and the throwing of the book that really got me feeling that intense frustration. It didn't matter what I said or did Tara just wound herself up more and more.
During the early not so loud part of this melt-down time Ian came in and told me he needed to go to the bathroom. I was a bit busy, so I told him to just go and I would check on him in a minute. However, a minute turned into close to 30 as I finally got Tara to a reasonable volume level. I told her several screaming outbursts later that I needed to check on Ian.
I wish I hadn't! I found Ian in the bathroom painted in poop. Now, I have had this experience with Ian more than once. NORMALLY we talk about how gross that is, how he can get sick from touching poop, and he has to help clean up which has lots of "I can't" involved. After listening to Tara's almost hour long temper tantrum, my patience was gone. I just yelled, "Ian that is gross." I wiped him, spanked him, and sent him out of the bathroom to get new-not-painted-on underwear on. Amy, who was desperate for attention after an hour of me ignoring her to deal with Tara, kept coming into the bathroom. After the third time of putting her out and shutting the door only to have another kid open it and let her in to stop crying, I lost it and yelled. Only this time I yelled at Amy. "Just get out of here!"
Oops! I yelled at a baby! Nice, what a great mom I am. Like a 1 year old understands that they should stay away from poop. Like a 1 year old cares that her older brother used ALL the kids toothbrushes in his painting project. Like a 1 year knows that wiping your bottom with the toothbrush holder shaped like a giraffe is not only disgusting, but really, really weird. And of course a 1 year old really doesn't understand why all of this frustration is being taken out on her because she keeps wanting to be held.
Shoot I'm crying now just remembering how frustrated I was and how much of a failure I felt at that moment. As a solution, I tried to call Jared home. He didn't answer his cell phone, but we have a system that if I call right back there is an emergency and he needs to answer. Only after 4 right in a row tries to get him he still isn't answering. I knew I needed to leave the house to get some clarity, but with all of my kids as riled up as they were I knew someone had to be in the house watching them. And it shouldn't be me since in the time it took to make the 4 phone calls to Jared I had managed to scream at Eric and Ian both for having a dirty room. Why? Because I was frustrated, angry, and overwhelmed.
I called my great friend Stephanie and in tears asked her to come over and watch my kids so I could leave long enough to avoid a CPS house call! She and her mother-in-law Margaret walked over (Steph lives 1 street away)and stayed with the kids. I'm sure they left some family get together to come and I REALLY appreciate it. I took Amy (because she cried bloody murder at being left) and pushed her in her front yard swing for several minutes until the tears (yep mine, not hers) dried up.
I came back in to find Margaret helping Eric clean his room and Stephanie playing a board game with Ian and Tara. The best part of the whole thing was that they both totally understood and gave support instead of criticism. I really needed that too since I felt so horrible about the whole thing. I loved the story Margaret told about her kids lighting a fire under her kitchen table while she sat there paying bills. Wow, parenting can really be hard!
Anyway, I have talked your ears off. It is really nice to have great friends who don't judge us even when we are at our worst, isn't?
10 comments:
Thanks for posting this. Everytime I watch you with your kids I'm amazed at what a good mom you are. I always leave your house thinking, "I wish I could be like her!" It makes me feel better to know that sometimes you "loose it" too. I only have two and I need to learn soooo much more patience before having more. I always plan on watching you for ideas on how to be better.
It's so good to hear that you have good friends close by. I just wish everyone could be so lucky.
And I know its cliche, but I think that those people who really understand the whole "the straw that broke the camel's back" saying won't judge people for how big or small the situation seems to them.
Love you! Say hi to the kiddos.
Oh wow what a day! Glad to see that I am not the only one to have them. And I agree with Brittany. I always am amazed at your patience and abilitly to roll with the punches. You are a great mom that I look up to!
ummm...i totally understand. i can definately relate!
Laura from what I read on your blog, and hear from people who know you I can honestly saw your kids are some of the most blessed children out there to have a Mom like you. I look up to you and learn from you all the time. Try not to beat yourself up to much. We all have days like that. We sometimes need a time out also. You are amazing.
What a terrible day!
If hearing about other people's unruly children cheers you up, you should give us a call sometime. By comparison, we'll have you seeing the good in your kids in no time. Just recently our little guy took a permanent marker to our wood floors, three bedroom doors, the baby's crib, changing table and cover, a window sill, and a wall (and all of this a week before we closed on the sale of our house).
To help clean it up while mommy was in the shower he got out the bleach spray bottle and sprayed our tv, wedding album, wood floors, and new couches (yes it bleached them). While Karen was desperately trying to save our couches from the effects of the bleach, he went into our bedroom, found Karen's make-up and proceeded to decorate Charlotte with lipstick.
He better be glad I was in Dallas that day because we'd be down to one kid by now if I'd been home.
Keep on keepin' on. From days like these it can only get better (I hope!).
What does it say about me that hearing stories like this does not deter me at all from wanting lots of kids?
Hopefully someday this will be funny. Like when you can tell Ian's girlfriend about it. Or better yet, when he has kids that do this to him!
Your kids are sure lucky they are so cute! I bet that has saved them a few times. I certainly know how frustrating it can be at times. You are a great example of how a mom should be. So what if you yell at them once in a while, you give them more good memories than bad ones! You rock!!
I'm so glad you have good friends who love and support you no matter what. I know you were that for me one day at church after Emma was born.
It's also nice to know that I'm not the only mom who struggles to maintain the calm when all "H..." breaks loose.
And thanks for posting this, because you're right. It's nice to chat about all the cute, fun things we do everyday, but it's also good to remember that this is LIFE and LIFE isn't always cute and fun.
Laura...you rock! I can only hope I'd be able to humble myself enough to call someone for help. Love ya!
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